There’s no place like home

May 24, 2010 at 4:59 pm (Sweet Nothings/Ramblings)

I moved to Melbourne from Wellington over two years ago and I still get homesick.

It might hit me when a certain song comes on the radio, it might be the smell of someone’s perfume, seeing an old photo or reading about what friends are up to on social networks. This week it was a constant sick feeling that made me want to buy a one way ticket home and never come back.

I think a lot of this is caused by my serious thought about the QLC (oh, by the way, thank you to everyone that has read and/or left comments on that post). I have a handful of good friends here in Melbourne, but my social circle here is nothing like what it was back in New Zealand. I had multiple groups of friends: high school girlfriends, musical theatre friends, university friends etc. It is much harder to make new friends as you get older.

How do you know if you are in the right place? What if I don’t belong here and it never feels like home? How long do you give it before you throw in the towel?

I have decided to hold off on any rash decisions to move back home until I return from overseas and manage to get some fun (particularly music or theatre) back into my life, but I would be interested in hearing from you readers.

Have you moved cities or countries?
How long was it until you felt it was home (if ever)?
How did you expand your social circle?
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10 Comments

  1. Deb (Two Cheeky Monkeys) said,

    Hugs Kimberley. Big hugs to you.

    I moved countries when I was seven, and found it hard at the time, even though I was so young, but I did adjust after 6 months or so. My parents found it difficult to meet new friends, but managed to do so through their work and other activities in which they’ve gotten involved. I know my mum met lots of new people (and learned new skills) by attending craft classes, TAFE classes and so on.

    An ex-colleague moved to Melbourne from Auckland and assuaged her home sickness with semi-regular trips back and by joining up for all the activities she did in Auckland, over here in Melbourne (like dancing classes, gym, etc).

    I hope this has helped you a little and many hugs again.

    • Kimberley said,

      Hi Deb, thank you so much for the hugs and your ideas for making new friends.
      I have enrolled in a short photography course which starts Sunday, so who knows who I may meet there! Will also look into some dance classes once I get back from holidays in October.
      Really appreciate you leaving a comment of support. Thank you again. x

  2. Alana Smith said,

    Hey Kimmy :)
    Just a reminder that we all love you over here!
    And we are all very proud of what you are achieving over in Melbz.
    Find something similar to the little theatre group you joined here, u made a tonne of friends through that in welly and you will there too im sure.
    Always remember we are just a short plane ride away, and you can skype me ANY TIME!! And now im getting my phone we can stay in touch more! haha
    Love from the famz!
    Think of the positives – like u tell me too!
    I love you

    Alana xx

    • Kimberley said,

      Little sis, you are the greatest and this comment made me tear up (happy tears I assure you).
      Thank you sweetheart. Miss you like crazy. xxxxx

  3. Marthe said,

    I haven’t moved as far as you have, so I can’t really give you much advice. Just wanted to say I know what it feels like to be a bit lonely. I think it sounds like a great idea to try to get some fun activities into your life again, that’s a great way of meeting new people! :)

    *hugs*

    • Kimberley said,

      Thanks Marthe – your regular comments always make me smile. Hope things are going well for you too. xx

  4. x Corrine/Frock & Roll x said,

    Aw. If I could send you a massive, magical ‘feel better’ potion right now, equipped with a giant hug, I so would!

    I moved to Sydney from Wellington ten years ago and although I found it VERY difficult to cope with at the time, fortunately I arrived here when I was only 12, and therefore still had all of high school to meet new people and make new friends. And for that very reason, even though I have technically lived in New Zealand for longer, Sydney feels more like home in so many ways because that’s where all my friends/boyfriend/work is, and kind of where it feels like everything happened! Had I been an adult when I re-located, I think it might’ve been a lot more difficult, because it IS harder to make new friends when you’re older. But! Having said that, there are ALWAYS people looking for new friends, whether it’s because they’re in a similar position (i.e., they’ve re-located from somewhere else), or their friends have moved, so have you ever thought of maybe putting it out there that you’d like to meet some new people that are looking for new friends, on Twitter and here? :)

    P.S. Hugs, hugs, hugs. <3

    • Kimberley said,

      Hi Corrine! Moving when you’re younger is also very traumatic. I moved from Auckland to Wellington at age 10 and I remember hating that my parents were uprooting me. I think it’s actually quite good for a child to learn how to approach new people and a new environment (not that it’s made me a hell of a lot better at it).
      I have met quite a lot of people (through Twitter and otherwise) but it is the really close friendships that I miss. The ones that you can have hour long phone conversations with or have deep philosophical talks over a bottle of wine.
      Thanks for the hugs, they’re great. :)
      x

  5. Bec said,

    I know how you feel it is so much harder to make friends as an adult. It’s great that you have theatre as an interest it’s an excellent ‘in’ to likeminded people.

    When I was 18 I moved from a small town to Sydney city and loved it! I lived there for 5 years and to be honest made very few friends, but the ones I did make I love. I’ve recently moved back to my hometown since having my son and am trying to make friends that are more ‘baby friendly’ than my highschool friends up here.

    I know how you feel. Hang in there, Melbourne is a beautiful city. But if you do decide to go home don’t view it as a failure, just another turn in your path :)

    • Kimberley said,

      I especially love your comment “But if you do decide to go home don’t view it as a failure, just another turn in your path” – thanks Bec! It is so hard to remember that turning back can sometimes be a step forward, but I will definitely give Melbourne more of a chance (I love it as a city).
      I hope you meet some wonderful ‘baby friendly’ friends and that you’re enjoying your move back home. :)

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