I always find Mondays a bit of a struggle. I seem to need twice as much caffeine, dread the long work day twice as much and am twice as likely to tell myself that things aren’t half as great as I thought they were. Enough maths for you?
I find that a lot of my female friends are perfectionists, people pleasers and high achievers. Perhaps these are just attributes of women in general, but they can often turn on us. This week why not try to accept that you aren’t perfect, that not everyone will like you and sometimes you will fail.
I remember a scene in Elizabethtown (starring Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom – a fave film of mine), Orlando’s character has just been fired after losing his company close to a billion dollars. He explains that she deserves someone so much better than him because he is a huge failure. Of course she doesn’t care about this corporate “fiasco” and tells him to accept that he has failed, grieve and move on.
My friend Sarah inspired this post (hi!). She just ate a whole lot of chocolate and proceeded to feel extremely guilty about it and proclaim how fat she is. Darling – chocolate isn’t a failure, it is delicious. If a girl can’t eat some chocolate on a Monday evening, what is the world coming to?
So, here are a few “fiascos” you may come across this week and how to embrace unwanted feelings of failure, guilt or self loathing and letting them go.
The guilt of eating something ‘naughty’
– Remember how great it tasted and smile.
– Think of something good you did for someone else and view it as a reward.
– Exercise the guilt away if you’re so inclined.
– Think of the millions of people who are starving in the world – a few extra grams on your hips doesn’t seem so horrific now, does it?
You miss out on your ‘dream job’
– Realise that no, you weren’t the right person for this job at this point in time, but that does not mean it won’t be with a little hard work.
– Ask the employer what skills/qualifications/training you could gain to assist you in the industry and any tips on how to go about getting them
– Live and breathe the “when a door closes, another one opens” philosophy. The new door may be gold-plated with sequined handles!
– Offer to do work experience at the company. That way when a similar position opens, you already have your foot in the door and proven experience.
You’re having a bad hair day
– Laugh. Isn’t it ridiculous that we consider this a disaster?!
Wear the most fabulous hat you own (or go on a shopping expedition to find one).
– Find a photo where you absolutely love your hair to remind yourself that it usually isn’t such a mess.
– Embrace the very stylish (and on trend) top knot.
Your friend/sister/partner gets an amazing opportunity and you have a bad case of the green-eyed monster
– Write a list of all the wonderful opportunities that have come your way in the last 12 months.
– Allow yourself to be jealous for an entire minute, then put on your favourite song and dance around like a crazy person, imagining that you are expelling all the negative feelings.
– Think of all the reasons that this person deserves a lucky break. Remember, this is not about a kick in YOUR face – it’s about a pot of gold for THEM. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Someone insults you either to your face or behind your back
– Really think about whether or not this person’s opinion matters to you and why.
– If it does, grab a cup of coffee with them and explain that you feel hurt by what they have said. It may be a misunderstanding or they may have had a particularly awful day and were just taking out their anger on you.
– Remind yourself that people who deliberately try to hurt others are usually unhappy people. Either move on or try to help – it’s up to you.
You have a moment of “I haven’t achieved any of what I thought I would have by now”
– As Nike says, JUST DO IT. Do it now. Split the achievement into baby steps and take one of them today. At least you can then see the plan evolving.
– Start reading a biography of someone you admire who has achieved great things in their lifetime. You will be reminded that it isn’t easy for anyone to achieve their goals and that it takes a lot of courage and persistence.
– Write a list of all that you HAVE achieved. Sometimes simply changing your perspective can make the dark clouds pass.
I hope you have an amazing week without fiascos, but if you do – don’t sweat the small stuff. Be proud of who you are, what you have accomplished so far and all that you plan to achieve.
Do you have any tips to help you stay smiling when something gets you down?