I am a people pleaser and love to be social, which generally means I have a lot of people on my ‘friend list’ – people that I’d add to Facebook, invite to an event I’m planning or message them for their birthdays. But the older I get, the more obvious my true friends become, or perhaps it is the false ones that become more apparent.
I’m not the kind of person that can do ‘friend culls’ and get rid of those friends that don’t really make an effort or won’t be there for you when you need them. I have them in my life for a reason, whether it be that they inspire me in some way, make me laugh a lot when we catch up or have the guts to be brutally honest with me.
But the real friends are the special ones. For a while I wasn’t sure that I had many of them because real friends aren’t neccessarily good at keeping in constant contact. But they’re the supportive ones, the ones that can make you feel like a million dollars in an instant and the ones that understand you more than you knew.
When you can identify these exceptional few, how do you make sure that they know how incredible they are? Here are a few things I’m trying to do:
- Send them a hand written letter (and decorate it if they’re the artsy type – they’ll love that).
- Call them out of the blue just to see how they are.
- Congratulate them on all achievements, big or small (none of that petty jealousy stuff thanks!).
- Visit them if they’re unwell (if they’re overseas, send them chocolates or flowers).
- Bring over emergency supplies if they’ve gone through a break-up or traumatic event (tissues, comfort food, their favourite movies and hugs).
- Buy them little personal gifts, just because you’re thinking of them.
- Tell them what an amazing friend they are to you.